The Midtoon Herald, March 20, 2009
Computer manufacturer Zell has announced a free offer to all Midtoon Residents. Zell will be giving away free unlimited lifetime warranties*
"I want a free unlimited lifetime warranty," said Reyna Marikit. "Everyone should have a free unlimited lifetime warranty and at this price, you can't beat it!"
Several other residents of Midtoon offered unsolicited testimonials but their emails were either lost or ignored, so no one will ever know what they wanted to say.
We encourage all readers to obtain their free unlimited lifetime warranty by sending a BLANK check to FREE UNLIMITED LIFETIME WARRANTIES, P.O. BOX NONE, MIDTOON, USA. We will take care of writing in the amount after checking the balance of your checking account.
Come, don't be the last person in your block to get a free unlimited lifetime warranty. At this price, they are not going to last!
*NOTE: Your free unlimited lifetime warranty has intrinsic limitations and can only cover one lifetime. Believers in reincarnation should call for an alternate offer. Void where prohibited by law, or where people don't have a sense of humor.
Disassociated Press
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