The Midtoon Herald, March 6, 2009
In what appears to be a desperate attempt to attract voters, City Hall was discussing the possibility of buying people's votes. This astounding revelation shook the fundamental values of Midtooners everywhere.
"I can't believe they were trying to buy my vote," said a concerned citizen, smiling. "This is totally stupid. Why would they want to buy it from me when I have always given it for free?"
Another individual told this reporter that he was "not surprised" to find out that the politicians were planning to buy his vote but was "seriously baffled" at the alleged price the City was assigning to each vote. "For five dollars," he said. "I will not get out of the house to vote."
This immediately triggered a reaction from the opposition. Political Strategist Roger Rogers, senior political correspondent for the Midtoon Herald told us that there was a potentially interesting reaction to the issue. "If the Mayor pays people to vote, but pays too little, perhaps the opposition could take advantage and sweeten the deal by adding a couple more dollars for them to stay home".
The allegations of potential vote buy-outs was denied by City Hall. In a written statement, the Mayor declared that "It is not and it has never been our intention to pay five dollars for people to vote for us. These allegations are absurd, because your votes are sacred, and as such, worth much more than that."
Perhaps if we remain silent, the Mayor will actually raise his offer...
Disassociated Press
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