THE MIDTOON HERALD
September 1, 2009
False alarms are on the rise in Midtoon, according to the authorities, and that seems to alarm the public. Several calls to the police have been made from several locations, especially after news of a potential sighting of renowned criminal William "Sweet Tongue" Smithson in the area. William Smithson, probably a fake name, is known for the brutal murders of at least 12 young blonde females in the last 4 years.
"If Smithson is in the area," said MPD Officer Tina Mollison, who fortunately is not blonde. "There's no doubt that we will catch him. No one flirts with the law"
The number of calls have strained the police force and have already affected the business at Sunbucks, a perennial favorite with the MPD.
"We are asking the public to remain calm," announced the Mayor in a written statement. "There is no need to call the police because your kitty was trapped on the tree. You call the Fire Department for that..."
Regardless, phone calls to the Police are on the rise, and so far, 100% have been proven inaccurate, to say the least.
This reporter hopes they catch the killer soon.
Copyright 2009, Disassociated Press
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