The Mayor to close Lover's Lane

The Midtoon Herald, February 16,

In a meeting this morning, the Mayor presented a proposal to close Lover's Lane.

This is the third time in three years that a similar project is presented after Valentine's Day. The Committee of Citizens for the closure of Lover's Lane usually protest during the Valentine's Day festivities, because of the large number of people who go to the high lookout place afterwards.

"We always have accidents", said Eleanor Smithers, spokesperson for the Committee. "This year, three separate car accidents resulted from the drivers going to and from Lover's Lane."

The accidents included the man whose proposal was rejected, the man whose proposal was accepted and the man whose girlfriend accepted his best friend's proposal. The Chief of police confirmed that the three accidents do not seem to be related. "It is proposal nigh, after all," he declared. "There are more chances of having a proposal-related incident on Valentine's day than in any other day of the year."

Yesterday morning, the Mayor of Midtoon City was considering the establishment of a special commission to study the risk incurred when driving to and from Lover's Lane. "The City will do all within its power," said John Campos, an advisor to the Mayor, in a press release. "We will not rest until every Midtooner is safe. If we have to close Lover's lane, we will"

The Consortium for the Preservation of Lover's Lane, immediately issued a threat letter to the Mayor stating that "If the city persists in trying to close our favorite hanging out spot," they declared. "We will be forced to find another spot, and they will not like it."

Sounds like a credible threat to me...

Disassociated Press